Friday, October 17, 2008

Life's ups and downs

Ok, here's the scoop. Lately I have been rather stressed out and depressed. My boyfriend James just had knee surgery. Awhile before the actual surgery, the doctor told him that he could only work three hours a day. So while I'm working third shift at the local Walgreens, I have to stay awake long enough to take him to work and sit there until he's done before I can get home and go to bed before working yet another 10 hour shift. Finaly I told him to quit his job. Not only was it a burden for me, but since he was only allowed to work three hours a day (and they weren't even letting him work that most of the time) his entire paycheck was going toward his health insurance...which didn't cover any part of his surgery. SO since I told him to quit, I've been taking on the entire burden of ALL of our bills. $750 a month for rent PLUS utilities and the rest of our bills is very hard to handle when you're not even making $8 an hour. (COME ON! Someone working third shift should make AT LEAST $8 and hour!) Not only does my job not pay enough, but I haven't been able to truly adjust to third shift. I'd noticed some issues I'd been having and went to the free clinic in town. Sure enough, the doctor said that I was suffering from sleep deprivation. While this is a very real issue.....one that causes one to stutter and slur their words, have memory loss, and numerous other issues (that I have started to notice in myself) unfortunately my manager doesn't understand. She basically said that it's my fault for not sleeping during the day. Yes, it's true that I haven't been sleeping during the day, at least not enough sleep anyway, but it's not for lack of trying. I just cannot do it. SO I told my store manager that I needed to switch back to day shift. (I was told when I originally took third shift that if at any point I wanted to switch back, it would be fine.) They told me that I couldn't stop third shift until they found someone to take my place. This was almost 3 months ago. They finally had a bite, but the stupid girl didn't come in for the drug test, so I'm STILL working third shift.
I'd been scoping out different jobs to apply for, and waiting on my Aunt Kim who has her own business that she's trying to get going. She wanted me to be part of it, which would have been awesome. It is basically babysitting for the elderly. I'd done it for her once as a trial, and I loved it. Because I'm not a nurse, nor do I have any background on specific drugs, she hasn't been able to get me started quite yet.
My depression was getting worse. I even started to avoid my parents because I'm a few months behind on bills, but didn't want to ask them for help. It was so bad that James' mother had to take me shopping to buy us food.
My dad called me up one night because he was concerned that I hadn't called or come around in a long time. I couldn't hold it in, and I totally broke down and started sobbing as I told him all of my finacial issues. He was supportive and just told me to keep looking for another job.
Just the other day I told him that it would be so much easier if a job offer came my way. But how realistic is that to wish that someone would just call me up out of nowhere to offer me a job?!
How realistic indeed.....
The VERY next day after my crazy wish, I received a phone call.....offering me a job!
Over a year ago, when James and I were living in Waukesha, we'd gone to Addeco (a temp agency in West Allis) to try to find jobs. They weren't able to help us, but we eventually found our current jobs. Mike, from Addeco said that he knew it had been over a year, but he found something that he thought I would be great at. I told him that I had a full time job, but I have been looking for something better, and that I was very intersted. This job is in Waukesha at a company called Giles Engineering. I would be working in the office as the secretary. Basically I would be the backbone of the office, answering the phones, filing, data entry, creating schedules, and other secretarial duties. So Mike got to work on the fine details after I sent him my updated resume.
Today I got yet another call from Mike. He told me that the manager at Giles is really excited about my resume, but had a concern about why I'm not using my degree.
I went to UW Oshkosh for 5 years to get my degree. I'm the first person in my immediate family to have a degree from a UW school and not a technical school. I am VERY proud to say that I have a degree! But let's face it...I have an Art Studio degree. While I will defend it to the end and say that it was totally worth it, it's not practical to say that I will only accept a job where I can use it. The only job to fully use this degree is to be an ARTIST. So I told him that I still intend to use my degree in the future, but I need the money to put into my art work. And if and when I start selling my art, it will only be a side job. Let's face it, not many people who are artists can make a great living on selling their art alone.
This seemed to satisfy the manager at Giles (her name is Kris). So when Mike called me back, since I didn't know what was going on, I was expecting the worst....darn my non-optimistic personality... Then he told me that I had the job!!!!!
I will be starting on.....MONDAY?
Shit.
So this week is my week on at Walgreens. Obviously I'm taking the Giles job since it's paying almost twice as much as Walgreens, but this means that I will not be able to give a two weeks notice. I talked to numerous friends and family members, and the majority told me to screw Walgreens. I need the money. I need to do what is best for me. I feel the same, but at the same time, I told my managers that if I were to ever quit, I would be sure to give a two week notice. Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
BUT I knew that I should let Walgreens know as soon as I can. It will only be worse if I wait until the last minute to say..."hey, by the way, I'm only working tonight...the rest of the week, I guess you're screwed because I just got a new, better job."
So I called and talked to one manager, who gave me a hard time since I'm leaving them in the lurch, and it's NOT easy to hire for third shift. He kind of let up on me when I told him that it was a "take it now or leave it" position. But he told me I have to call tomorrow and tell the store manager. (the one who intimidates me the most....)
While I'm very nervous to talk to him, I also am ready for a fight. They've had nearly three months to find someone to take my place. I informed them that I was looking for another job. Unless they're willing to offer me $12 an hour, I will ditch them for a job that will.
Everyone knows the economy hasn't been so hot, this is just they way it has to be.
And look, I keep trying to make excuses as to why it's ok for me to do this..... Am I really so spineless? Is it really so hard for me to say "no" if it's in MY best interest? ...yes... But I'm working on it.
SO all in all, things are starting to look up. To those of you who do not belive in "signs," you're blind. When I said that I wished a job offer would come to me, and this awesome dude from Addeco calls and offers me a much better paying job (that is first shift so I won't be going psycho from working third shift) the very next day when I haven't had contact with Addeco for over a year, that IS a sign!
Huzzah for the ups in life! Let's hope it keeps going in that direction!

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